WHAT MUSIC TEACHES
Sound depends on silence.
Each note deserves its moment of complete attention.
Scales are play space.
She who hears with her whole heart is also making music.
Dissonance and harmony are not opposites.
Sometimes the smallest instrument carries the melody.
Short notes matter as much as long ones.
A musician’s work is play.
A melody is a story.
It will happen again, but it won’t be the same.
Pattern makes surprise possible.
Listen to the middle voice.
The limits of the instrument are its possibilities.
What goes up comes down.
Words can’t say everything.
If you listen you can hear the earth sing.
Feeling is a form of understanding.
Louder than enough is a form of violence.
The piccolo makes a difference.
Some of us could use a man waving a baton.
WHAT MARRIAGE TEACHES
There’s more than one way.
What “goes without saying” doesn’t.
There are no “isms” in intimacy.
Love requires imagination.
Laughter heals.
Taboos are toxic.
A hug provides more energy than a vitamin pill.
“Apologize” is an active verb.
Act I happened before you entered the play.
Freud was right.
And wrong.
Mothers matter.
Not everything can be shared.
What can be should be.
Truisms have to be tailored.
The subtext may be more important than the plot.
Mistakes turn out to be gifts if you open them up.
You learn what works by forgiving what doesn’t.
If you’re out of sync you may be learning a new dance step.
Flowers don’t fix things, but they help.
If you’re not still being surprised, you’ve fallen asleep.
It won’t be exactly what you bargained for.
Steady and exciting are not mutually exclusive.
The little things are the big things in disguise.
Love is bigger than understanding.
OTHER MOTHERS
The woman who taught you to read
The babysitter who played with you instead of watching TV
The woman next door who came to your piano recitals
The boyfriend’s mom who still liked you after you broke up
The old woman at church who prayed for you
The friend of mom’s who knew how it was when mom didn’t
The childless aunt who gave you her gift of mother-love
The camp counsellor who stayed in touch
The teacher who tutored you on her own time
The librarian who remembered what books you liked
The girl scout leader who listened to you giggle all night
The professor who midwifed your intellectual rebirth
The woman who clued you in when you were a newcomer
The woman who mentored you through your first pregnancy
The eighty-year-old elder who is your midlife role model
The stepmother who wasn’t wicked after all
PRIME TIME PROPAGANDA
All interpersonal problems can be solved in 30 minutes.
Young people know more than old people.
The purpose of conversation is to arrive at a punch line.
Everyone can afford spas, cars, and major appliances.
A good one-liner resolves things.
Parents are problems.
Plots are interchangeable.
Friendship thrives on sarcasm.
There’s no political agenda.
Regular crises forestall boredom.
Commercial breaks prevent messy emotional engagement.
Two-dimensional violence is harmless.
Infidelity happens.
Bad guys are really good guys.
Everyone is healthy and 30-something.
There aren’t very many babies or old people.
Parents never understand their children.
To be young is to be provided for with no obligations.
A lie is okay if it’s clever.
What’s important happens in bars, bedrooms, or BMW’s.
To have a life you need to be sexy, funny, or rich.
HOW TO LOVE A VEGETARIAN
Don’t steam anything more than seven minutes
Plant garlic
Expand your grain vision beyond rice
Discover the virtues of the potato
Bypass the frozen food
Frequent the farmers’ market
Lobby for salad bars
Boycott burgers
Expand your repertoire of seeds and nuts
Celebrate Thanksgiving with corn and squash
Be open-minded about macrobiotics
Get a juicer
Celebrate the versatility of tofu
Don’t scorn the lowly seaweed
Make custom granola
Learn where protein lurks
Celebrate the strawberry
Compost, cultivate, and cook consciously
WHAT WRITERS RELY ON
Coffee
Gossip
An ear for local speech
Their third grade English teachers
Overheard conversation
Accurate facts
Awe
Irreverence
Childhood wounds
Ruthless editors
Dreams
Tolerant families
Very sharp pencils
Strong verbs
Fat dictionaries
Shakespeare
Ambiguity
A cat in the window
Or a dog on the beach
Clean windows and wide views
Etymology
The refrigerator hum
Iambic pentameter
Eccentric relatives
Bus rides
Passion
Detachment
Good visual memories
User-friendly software
Money
Air conditioning
Or heat
Long walks
Readers